生活中冲突时有发生。假设你班同学苏华和李江打篮球时发生争执,导致关系紧张。请你结合此事,并根据以下提示,用英语写一篇短文,向学校英文报“Happy Teens”专栏投稿。
2012年江苏高考英语作文评分标准与高分范文
这篇作文题目是让考生描述一次班级篮球赛中苏华和李江的争执,并分析原因和提出避免冲突的做法。专家点评认为这题相对好写,贴近学生生活,对思路好的同学有利。
高分怎么写
简单来说,就是要要点全、结构清、用词准、有亮句。千万别觉得句子越长、结构越复杂就越好,那反而容易写得又长又难懂,分还不高。
1. 内容要点一个都不能少。
描述经过: 得说清楚是打篮球时发生了碰撞,然后吵架了。比如:“During the basketball game, Su Hua bumped into Li Jiang by accident, which led to a serious quarrel.”
分析原因: 至少写两点。一是遇事不冷静。二是可以发挥,比如太在乎输赢、不会换位思考。例句:“Both of them took it too seriously and didn‘t put themselves in the other’s shoes.”
提出做法: 至少提两种避免冲突的做法。比如:学会控制情绪、多沟通理解对方。
2. 结构要清晰。
就按题目提示的三段来:
第一段: 用题目给的开头“Conflicts with others are common in everyday life.”,然后简述事情经过。
第二段: 分析冲突原因。
第三段: 提出你的建议做法,并可以加一句积极的结尾,比如“If so, I believe we can live in harmony with others.”
3. 用词和句子要有亮点,但别刻意堆砌。
好词: 描述冲突可以用 `quarrel`, `argument`, `dispute`;说“避免”用 `avoid`, `prevent`;说“解决”用 `resolve`, `handle`。
好句(自然版):
强调碰撞难免:“Bumping into others can‘t be avoided, especially in a heated sport.”
提出建议:“We should understand each other and try to be considerate.”
复杂结构要用对地方: 比如用个定语从句让句子更连贯:“…Su Hua bumped into Li Jiang, which made him very angry.” 但别通篇都是长难句,简单句用上精准的形容词副词一样出彩,比如把“a quarrel”写成“a horrible quarrel”。
满分范文参考
Conflicts with others are common in everyday life. Recently our class organized a basketball game. When the students played fiercely, Su Hua bumped into Li Jiang by accident, which made Li Jiang very angry. As a result, they shouted to each other and had a serious quarrel.
As far as I am concerned, bumping into others can‘t be avoided in our life, especially in a heated sport. Both of them took it so seriously and didn’t put themselves in the other‘s shoes. What’s more, neither of them was calm enough when in face of such a conflict.
As a matter of fact, conflicts can happen at any time. Therefore, whenever we are faced with trouble, we should do our best to control ourselves. Besides, we should understand each other and try to be considerate. If so, I believe we can live in harmony with others.
核心提醒
写这篇作文,记住口诀:故事讲清楚,原因挖两点,办法给两条,句子通顺最重要,适当用个好词句,高分自然到。 别为了“复杂”而把句子搞得谁也看不懂。